Why are my emotions out of control?
Emotions: Understanding Their Power and Individual Experience
Emotions shape every moment of our lives, influencing our thoughts, behaviours, and even physical well-being. Whether it’s the flutter of excitement before a big presentation or the deep frustration of missing a deadline, emotions add colour and intensity to our world.
For many people – especially those with neurodivergent minds – emotions can feel particularly vivid and powerful. This isn’t a flaw; it reflects the unique way different brains process emotions, sensory input, and experiences – even if it feels challenging to manage.
Why Do Emotions Feel So Intense?
Our emotional experiences are shaped by the limbic system, the brain’s emotional processing centre, which includes structures like the amygdala (responsible for emotional reactions) and the hippocampus (which links emotions to memories).
If a friend or partner’s offhand criticism feels like a gut punch, it’s likely because your amygdala has fired up, activating a strong emotional response. Your hippocampus might then retrieve past experiences of criticism, amplifying the feeling even further.
For neurodivergent individuals, emotions often feel particularly intense and immediate due to differences in:
- Emotional regulation pathways – The brain’s regulation systems may respond more powerfully, making emotions more immediate and harder to dampen.
- Sensory processing – Sounds, lights, and even textures can amplify emotional responses, making environments feel overwhelming.
- Executive functioning – The ability to pause, reframe, or shift focus may be more challenging, making it harder to “step back” from an emotional reaction.
When Emotions Feel “Big”
Emotions tend to feel overwhelming when they:
✅ Connect deeply with past experiences – Walking into an environment might feel unbearable if past experiences in that environment of having sensory overload have been distressing.
✅ Trigger the nervous system – That heart-pounding sensation before an important event? It’s your body shifting into fight-or-flight mode.
✅ Are shaped by neurodivergence – ADHD hyperactivity can amplify excitement, while sensory sensitivities can heighten distress in overwhelming environments.
✅ Occur during sensory overload – Bright lights, loud sounds, or strong smells can heighten emotional responses, making frustration, anxiety, outbursts or shutdowns more likely.
Naming Emotions: A Simple Yet Powerful Strategy
One of the most effective ways to regulate emotions is by naming them – a process known as affect labelling. Research shows that when we name our feelings, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning) becomes more active, helping to reduce emotional intensity.
Instead of feeling an overwhelming sense of unease in a noisy café, being able to say, “I’m feeling overstimulated and anxious” gives you clarity and a starting point for self-regulation.
For those who experience emotions intensely, having a structured way to identify and articulate feelings – like a Feelings Wheel – can be an incredibly helpful tool. <<<Download your own feelings wheel>>>
Where Do We Feel Emotions in the Body?
Emotions don’t just live in our minds – they manifest in our bodies. Research has mapped how different emotions tend to be felt physically:
🌟 Happiness → A warmth that spreads through the body, like the tingling joy of achieving a personal goal.
⚡ Anxiety → A tightness in the stomach or chest, that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling before a big event.
🔥 Frustration → Tension in the jaw and shoulders, common when things don’t go as expected.
🌊 Overwhelm → A pressure in the head and chest, especially in sensory-rich environments.
For neurodivergent individuals, these sensations can be heightened or prolonged, making body awareness an important part of emotional self-care.
The Neurodivergent Experience of Emotions
For many neurodivergent individuals, emotions can be complex, deeply felt, and intensely experienced. While this can sometimes feel overwhelming, it also comes with strengths:
💡 Heightened empathy – The ability to deeply understand and connect with others.
🎨 Creative depth – The capacity to channel emotions into art, writing, and other forms of expression.
🔍 Intuitive insight – A strong sense of emotional perception and awareness.
Understanding emotions through the lens of neurodivergence allows us to embrace our emotional world rather than fight against it. By recognising patterns, using tools like the Feelings Wheel, and building emotional strategies, we can transform intense emotions into insight and self-awareness.
Explore Your Emotional Landscape
with the Feelings Wheel
Emotions are powerful guides, offering insight into our needs, experiences, and reactions. Whether you identify as neurotypical or neurodivergent, struggle with emotional dysregulation, or feel like your EQ is pretty good, developing a deeper understanding of your emotions can help you build emotional intelligence, emotional resilience, self-awareness, and self-compassion.
💡 Want to start your journey of emotional awareness? Download our inclusive Feelings Wheel, designed with consideration for diverse emotional experiences, and take the first step toward understanding and naming your emotions more effectively.
💡 Ready for more? Our popular Mastering Emotional Intelligence program is available in a self-paced format online, or in group format.
